Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

QUOTE...

2010-07-17T14:47:00.000-07:00

when i am sad...

2010-07-11T06:06:00.000-07:00

When I am Sad
Yükleyen zuzu_kuzu. - Özgün ve yaratıcı web videolarını izle.

my sweet award((:

2010-07-11T04:57:00.000-07:00

firstly i must say so sorry that i am too late to post this lovely award:/Alice thanks a lot, i hope that u have never thought that i ignored it:/

this sweet award is from my kind friend Alice; Alice In Wonderland
yeaah her blog is really a wonderland((: she inspires me a lot, i should admit that i envy her talent, she has marvellous posts and i am sure that if u visit her blog, u will be affected by her magical words.

i wanna give this award to my all followers, love u all((:

‘I'm nobody! Who are you? Are you nobody, too?’

2010-05-06T13:10:00.000-07:00

I don't really know how to start and i can not remember that how many times i have used this sentence, i hope that u have still remembered my blog; coz i miss all of u, ur amazing posts and ur encouraging comments.

What do we want most?

A car, a house, a man, a woman, a babby, a job, a holiday

Why do we always want sth?

For being happy, for getting rid of sth, for being rich, for having a family, for having fun

Where do we wanna live most?

in a village, in a beach house, with our family, all by ourselves

who do we wanna be most?

to be ourselves, a rich girl or a boy, a mother or a father, a successful student, an intellectualist

why do we run around in circles?

why is happiness so momentary that it disappears in the blinking of an eye

while melancholy is overlong????

What i want most is to be able to know myself

To be able to step with my changing mind, mood, my feelings

But our effort to know our reality is almost futile coz we wake up to every new morning by our changes. However our effort to discover ourselves will always go on…

What i am afraid most is to be swamped with my hush, with my metaphoric loneliness

coz the most difficulty in a life is to be alone with ourselves

then only then, u feel as if u are in the middle of a labyrinth and the only escape way is to answer the questions on ur mind.

LIFE OFFERS TWO OPTIONS

TRY TO FIND UR WAY

OR GET LOST IN A LABYRINTH

do u wanna wear one of those shoes?????

2010-02-25T17:00:00.001-08:00

first one is my fav and also love third and fifth ones they are so cute((:

FUNNY EGGS((:

2010-01-20T01:27:00.000-08:00

15,JANUARY,1987;TO MY BELOVED FRIEND

2010-01-14T13:41:00.000-08:00

THIS IS FOR ŞEYMA from

good intention equals nothing

I don’t know how i should start my words and i cannot remember how many times i have tried to write sth about u more awesome than those which have been written for ur lovable heart untill now. But i am so inskillful that i cannot find any words to define ur value for me believe me i cannot be successful even in Turkish

It is always difficult to say sth or write sth about our loves, our beloved ones coz i am afraid that any words will be inadequate to pour out my feelings, any languages haven’t had the word yet i wanna use for u

But i should admit some truhts about our friendship((:

I get angry with u
When u cry
When u make urself unhappy
When u feel lonely (i am still alive don’t worry leaving u alone is not among my future plans((:
When u lose ur hopes and ur beautiful eyes look hopelessly
When u don’t eat enough actually everytime
And so onnn

I get angry with myself
Why???
Coz i cannot be with u for drying ur weeps when u cry or cannot offer a big hug
Coz i let u feel lonely eventhough i am ur friend
Coz i cannot enable u to view the life with a hope

I wanna see u roll up with laughters not just smile can u do it for me????

This is my little present for u i know it is not awesome but not so bad((:

U r my beloved friend, actually more than a friend, u are my family
I cannot promise u to be with u forever but i can promise and make u sure that i will always be ur friend and will be ready for sharing ur feelings even if i am far away from u

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEETIE
Thanks for being one of the most important parts of my life

I wish i could present u sth more valuable

p.s:loveeee uuuu and misss u honey

QUOTE...

2010-01-07T07:49:00.001-08:00

QUOTE....

2010-01-01T13:48:00.000-08:00

TO MY HERO...

2009-12-25T14:04:00.000-08:00

For days, i have been writing many uncompleted letters to u in my mind all of which have traces of my happy memories with u.... i am even afraid of missing today coz two days later u will have to go….. for whom? for us, for our better future….. i know all of them and i have already accepted the truths but i have a lot of words which haven't been said to u yet but i am never good at telling my love..... (my mother always call me 'my lovely daughter speaking with her eyes instead of her words')

now i'm tryna....

i love ur calling me as a little queen, angelic(ur all lovely words)

i love feeling myself as an innocent child with u

i love ur guarding wings only seen by me((:

i love ur patience with my objections and persistence

i love crying on ur shoulder coz u never accuse me of being weak

i love u for many reasons

especially i love u just for being my father, my hero

u are the greatest man i have ever met coz u are my daddy.....

AN AWARD((:

2009-12-23T02:54:00.000-08:00

this precious award from Polly; The 5th Sister
She has a great heart, i am so lucky that i am one of her followers, she always has wonderful posts
i love her so much although i know her only from her blog, i wish i could meet her face to face and share a lot more, u should visit her blog as soon as possible...

i wanna give this award to my lovely blog friend Betty from CUT AND DRY ,her blog is one of my favourite blogs, i think her blog is fascinating and Betty is so friendly that i can feel her heart's warm by her posts and her lovely comments, u should discover her blog, love u a lottos and hugsss

QUOTE...

2009-12-20T03:26:00.001-08:00

EXTRAORDINARY HANDBAGS

2009-12-14T14:02:00.000-08:00

'DIVORCE CAKES' LOL((:

2009-12-13T10:31:00.001-08:00

UNBELIEVABLE POWER OF PAPER BY PETER CALLESEN

2009-12-09T04:57:00.000-08:00

QUOTE....

2009-12-04T12:33:00.000-08:00

national geography:the best photos of 2009 by Turkish photographers

2009-12-02T02:06:00.000-08:00

choose ur fav....

A SURVEY FROM MY SWEETY((:

2009-11-30T03:56:00.000-08:00

pucca for u, ŞEYMA:)

I don’t think that my best friend Şeyma from good intention equals nothing needs to know me better by these questions coz she has already known a lot about me((: Anyway, i will be glad to answer them and thanks my sweety; my lovely followers can learn about me better thanks to u((:

1. Where are you from (originally)? and Where do you live now?
The most difficult question for me((: i am from Turkey and i don’have a permanent place to live((: u can call me ‘unsettled’ but i live in Trabzon now.

2. What for do you consider yourself "lucky" in life?
for having a life to live

3. Which season is your favorite? Why?
autumn coz i think it bears all feelings together and it exactly reflects my personality and mood

4. Do you love kids? (even if you don't have or don't wanna have any)
Yes but sometimes i cannot endure their cryings

5. How would you complete this sentence below?
- if i were on the verge of dying, u would be the first person that i would bid farewell((:

6. What do you think is embarrassing? (it may be anything actually)
i am so shy that even a little thing can make me embarrass:/

7. Have you ever talked "big" and experienced it?
yes and it is a good lesson for me((:

8. What is your favorite moment in (your) life?
Again a difficult question but surprises(of course good ones) in my life

9. What kind of movie is your cup of tea?
i can watch any kinda films except from horrible ones

10. What is the pain you've suffered deeply?
Coughes these days:/ but disappointments in general

CONVERSATION WITH MY MIND PART FOUR: WHAT MAKES U ALIVE???

2009-11-25T08:30:00.000-08:00

Eventhough these days my mind has been occupied with my illness ,u know that she is always good at producing weird questions. Whenever i begin to write sth, questions and thoughts start to chase one another so i can never succeed in concentrating on only one main point.

Today we are going to talk about ‘what makes us alive?’

See sth?

Smell sth?

Hear sth?

Touch sth?

Taste sth?

Feel sth?

Or just one breath……our body never forgets to breathe as long as we are alive but we can only notice our breaths while we are not able to take a real deep breath……

We all have lives but are we all living, can we all accomplish to use the gift of living or are we all unsatisfied with the gift????

Figuring out what we want from life and our experiences make us alive in real sense. With our first breath, we are ready for accumulating our life experiences and we always search for discovering our real passion in life.

A great career?

A true love?

An honorable family?

A trustworthy friend?

Our dreams and hopes make us alive, too. Hopes are like taking a breath….

Now i want u all to stop sitting over there and being hopeless about ur future, just give urself a chance to seek for much more experience without any fear and find what makes u alive?

DARE TO GO ON

DARE TO DREAM

DARE TO EXPERIENCE

DARE TO HOPE

DARE TO DARE…….

ANY WONDER ABOUT ME.....

2009-11-25T07:19:00.000-08:00

I have suffered from sore throat and cronicle coughes for nearly one weak so i could not post anything and comment on ur lovely posts:/ but i don't want to spend my time talking about my illness or about my complaints cozzzzz i missss bloggingggg and u allllll......

YAY(((: MY FIRST PRECIOUS AWARD((:

2009-11-18T02:02:00.001-08:00

This award is from my lovely blog friend((: Polly from The 5th Sister
She made me surprised by this cute award thanks a lot Polly. I think u should visit her blog immediately, i am sure u will enjoy a lot((:

Here are the rules:
- put the lemonade logo on your blog or within your post.
- nominate at least 10 blogs with great attitude or gratitude.
- link the nominees within your post.
- let the nominees know they have received this award by commenting on their blog.
- share the love and link to the person from whom you received this award.

HERE are the winners:

Şeyma from good intention equals nothing
Yağmur from storyhouse
Teresa from Journaling Woman
Syaf from Just a Man
Icy from Reach Beyond Limits
Betty from CUT AND DRY
Judy from HardworkinJudy
Alice from Alice In Wonderland
Paulette from Beedeebabee
Lori from elvie studio

Those are awesome blogs and i am so glad that I have a chance to visit their amazing blogs, i am sure that if u visit their blogs, u will encounter wonderful posts

love and blessings.....

QUOTE.....

2009-11-16T10:43:00.001-08:00

QUOTE...

2009-11-07T08:38:00.001-08:00

ONE'S UTOPIA

2009-11-04T05:50:00.000-08:00

I am going to tell my ideal world in a simple way:

My ideal world where everyone is treated in an equal way. Equality in every field…It doesn’t matter which religion, race, color, gender we belong to. We know to accept our differences and there aren't any violence and discrimination aganist disabled ones, women. People have fair rights: they can participate in many fields of society and reflect their ideas freely without humilating one another.

There is no war, no terrorism; children live and play without fear, they are not woken up by the horrible sounds of the bombs and cries. Parents are not in a concern that their children will be exposed to the bullets of the weapons. No one has to bear suffering and pain, no one has to die because of famine, the lack of government aids especially medical. All people are surrounded by good health, prosperity, full of happiness, hope and peace.

BUT, we all know that we have no ideal world that enables us to escape from sufferings, pains, pressures and challenges so we should lead our lives by counting on our faith and being determined to overcome the difficulties of life before they defeat us.

We all should be grateful for the privilege to live….

QUOTE....

2009-11-03T14:12:00.000-08:00

WHO AM I FROM UR VIEW???

2009-11-01T06:54:00.000-08:00

now, i wanna learn ur thoughts about me(: u have read my posts and u have made nice comments
( THANK U ALL), i know it is not easy to say sth about me only by reading my posts but it is just a request....

i am waiting for ur critics and comments....

THE INVISIBLE MEN...

2009-10-29T15:27:00.000-07:00

Today i was woken up by this question ‘who are the invisible men in our lives?’ This issue is not about humilating others or ignoring them. U have already known that my restless mind behaves in an independent way and i am accustomed to those interesting questions that come to my mind suddenly….

Maybe u will disagree with my idea about the invisible men in our lives but i wanna tell about them as far as i can:

They were the parts of our lives at one time maybe the worthy ones or we thought as if they were…but how did they become invisible??? Our hearts chose that way in order not to bear any revenge failing that she would be the victim of the wicked mind. She chose to pretend as if she forgot instead of losing her innocence, patience.

Actuallly, the invisible men who accidently or intentionally cause us to struggle with deep pains, disappointments, to change our attitudes and roadmaps towards the life.

U divide ur life into the two parts before u know them and after this and u begin to behave towards those people as u can look but cannot see, u can hear but cannot listen, u can make interior monologues instead of dialogues...

Now they are the missing parts of ur life.U buried all memories about them coz u had to...ur heart made them invisible...

(i was too indecisive to publish this post coz i couldn't write what i tried for:(

QUOTE...

2009-10-27T09:32:00.000-07:00

IMPOSSIBLE WITHOUT MY MINI-SKIRTS((:

2009-10-25T06:56:00.000-07:00

I cannot exactly remember when i fell in love with the mini-skirts((: or my addiction has started but my mum caused my addiction coz she always supports the idea that skirts (p.s:expecially mini ones)enable girls to look prettier than the trousers.I hadn’t worn any trousers until i was 10. I know it sounds weird but my fashion adviser was my mum at that time.

Whenever i go shopping, i can’t resist myself from looking or buying mini-skirts although my purpose is not to buy any. I try to buy sth else like trousers,t-shirts except from mini-skirts but i find myself with shopping bags in which there are trousers, t-shirts and of course mini skirts hahahaa!!!! I generally wear my lovely skirts when i feel happy, i wanna look prettier as my mum says((: i don’t have a fit body like models but i like wearing my mini-skirts a lot and i never think about giving up my addiction((:

TOP 3((:

1.

2.

3.

because of my laziness, quote again((:

2009-10-22T09:39:00.000-07:00

QUOTE.....

2009-10-21T05:42:00.000-07:00

i love this QUOTE((:

2009-10-17T14:50:00.000-07:00

Conversations with my mind PART THREE: FLYING THOUGHTS

2009-10-14T05:56:00.000-07:00

Thoughts are travelling in my mind without permission. Should i have a warning sign not to let the blurry thoughts enter??? I cannot find another solution although this doesn’t seem to be a good solution and my mind always refuses to heal my heart ,she ignores all the pains of my heart. According to her, they are too sentimental ;my mind is so logical that she cannot resist my heart’s bleedings. What a selfishness!!!! but my mindless((: heart never gives up waiting for help to protect herself from fast heartbeats …..everlasting controversy….

Anyway, i can clearly hear my mind’s echoing sounds; she wants me to pay attention to her.
Today subject is DESTINY ….. difficult to talk….there is a common belief that each person is responsible for shaping or creating their own destiny. I think that creating is not the right word coz if we were the authors of our lives, we would never have regrets, disappointments about life. The author can live the way s/he wants in his/her work, s/he has a lot of abilties to shape or create his/her own work; there is no imposssibility in his/her world if s/he doesn’t appreciate the work, s/he can tear up all…. But in reality, have we got all these abilities or are we really the authors of our lives????? nooooooooooooo…..

Of course, our choices determine our own destiny but what i try to say is that we are not the authors but the players or characters in the life. Life is a script we have to experience but we have wills to shape and direct it. However; it is difficult to find the answer of it. There are always two paths waiting to be chosen when we make decisions ;one is right, the other is wrong, in this situation ,u are only with ur will to decide which oneee????

I am in the search of the exact meaning of destiny: maybe it is a journey between ourself and our will or it is a scenario inwhich we have to perform our best role or it is all our tasks throughout the life……

SAYING ......

2009-10-13T11:28:00.000-07:00

'LIFE IS TOO SHORT LIKE ONE BREATH BUT SO IMPORTANT LIKE BREATHING'

DON'T ASK ME WHAT HAPPENED:(

2009-10-09T08:12:00.000-07:00

How much weak and helpless are we in front of the cold face of truths???? the words are so meaningless Is only the pain that makes us be aware of the reality???? i am so angry with me so much that i cannot find enough words to punish myselfff Do u wonder why am i angry with mee??? i have acceptable reasons for this situation.
I have a chance to see my family everyday although my father has been away because of his job. They are my most precious part but am i aware of that all the time???? I have adorable friends but why did i become disappointed because of others. I don’t have any right to complain about my life again and again just for two reasons and also i have a lot of things which are enough to make my life great there are a lot people that manage to leave in a peaceful way eventhough they don’t have none of them….. shame on u!!!!!!!!
Have i still had complaints???? yeaahhh now i feel ashamed, sth causes me to think in a that way, today bitter truth has been so close to me and has reminded me of being thankful for those we have, we haven’t need to experience the grief in order to remember that we are not grateful enough for our good days, today i have a lump in my throat and i cannot succeed in writing, thinking anything
Plssss try to be happy with those u have before grief knocks ur door

SAYING....

2009-10-06T14:16:00.000-07:00

'LIFE IS LIKE A DISTANT LANDSCAPE; THE CLOSER U GET,THE MORE DETAILS U DISCOVER'

FLU:(

2009-10-04T10:08:00.000-07:00

A-choo! a-choo! atishoo!!!! These days i have been left no choice but to listen nonstop sounds of my sneezes. I can hear that u all say to me ‘GOD BLESS YOU’ i have suffered from flu for four days but i haven’t visited any doctors yet (actually i will not) coz i always prefer being healed at home rather than going hospital. I don’t know the exact reason why i am frightened to go hospitals but i am sure that nearly all people have hesitants about going hospitals.

My formula for getting rid of my terrible flu is to drink at least three mugs of linden tea with lemon and honey everyday yeahh it really helps to soothe my throat but it makes me drowsy. Anyway, i have still had flu but i think that i am getting better day by day; the worst thing about flu is nasal drippppp. I have been addicted to handkerchiefs i cannot think a world without them hahahaha!!!!!

Plsss take care of yourself and try to be away from people having flu:)

FEEL THE ETERNITY

2009-09-27T10:31:00.000-07:00

THIS IS THE ETERNITY I WANNA REACH !!!!

PART TWO: WHAT MY EGO TOLD

2009-09-23T09:50:00.000-07:00

It was a long time since i have dared to witness the quarrel between my mind and my heart and i have listened what my ego says… I felt as if my body had been motionless for ages and my emotions had been grounded under avalanche. But today sb whispered to my ear that the golden key of life is patience; thrice:patience, patience and patience (does three times-repetition symbolize sth((:

Magical word ‘patience’: an endurance to disappointments, sorrows and every negativeness...life assurance...i try to figure out that how much i practise this word in real sense. Is it just a word to be used to calm down other people or am i patient enough with all the burden of life that always gives pain to my shoulders?? I think both yes and no:S but how???

I am patient enough with people who break my heart and try to make me upset but i can never manage to be patient with failures coz i am a perfectionist and i cannot endure any spoiler in my life. Everything should be in order as organized in my mind but life is not a book written by me so there is always unexpected visiters entering our lives without any permission...

Today i wanna tear down all the huge walls between me and life, i wanna go beyond all the limits, i wanna reach eternal happiness
Today i wanna ignore some advices,all the sayings claiming that all of my demands are impossible, i wanna realize the impossible things to be possible...

again pixar((: partly cloudy

2009-09-20T15:25:00.000-07:00

hahaha((: Pixar's one man band

2009-09-18T13:28:00.001-07:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME((:

2009-09-16T15:05:00.000-07:00

today is my birthday and i guess that this is one of the best reasons to be happy coz u feel that u are special just the way u are for ur family and dear friends, i am getting older but am i getting more mature?? yeahhh more mature and stronger, i am older than yesterday but younger than tomorrow hahaha((: it is really difficult to say sth about ur own birthday but my mom always says to me that u are a gift from heaven to brighten my life... thanks a lot my adorable family, thanks a lot moony( u gifted me a special post and a big smile), thanks my beloved friends; ur wonderful messages are unforgettable. Although u are far away from me i felt as if u were here when i blew all the candles out((:

here some little but so valuable gifts from my family( actually, my family is the best gift i have ever had)
from my mom and my dad((:from my brother((:

from my aunt((:

STOP:/

2009-09-13T11:29:00.000-07:00

Have u ever stopped thinking and then forgotten to start it again??? Nowadays ,i feel that way, I cannot hear my mind’s voice, she is tryna…but they are just mutters ,meaningless things. I call out to her to choose one subject coz i need some help to pour out my heart …

There is only one clear question on my mind that how can i reach the way of happiness?????

ANY ADVICE????

HAPPINESS VS GRIEF

2009-09-10T16:26:00.000-07:00

happiness locked herself into an unknown place

away from humanity

she became the guardian of her own presence

aganist overwhelming guest

but she felt caged

and watched from the sidelines to her isolation

she was conquered by her selfishness

and folded herself into grief

LOST:(

2009-09-09T15:19:00.000-07:00

my inspiration left me but i cannot blame her for this coz she never gave promises to me so she is much more honest than most of the people((: and i wanna say to her that i don’t need u anymore but i cannot... coz this would be a big lie yeah, moony told that i should not force her to come back and i should wait patiently for her( likewise everything in my life) she lost or she wants to play hide and seek, naughty girl ((: sooner or later i will tag u hahaa((:

MY FIRST EXPERIENCE(:

2009-09-08T16:20:00.000-07:00

THE ANIMAL INSTINCT is the first song i memorized in english hahaaa(: sighhh!!! those days.... i think that Cranberries is a good choice for starting to taste english songs and they really made me addicted to foreign music especially english ones, i love this music group much. WHAT DO U THINK ABOUT THEM???

Cranberries - Animal Instinct live
Yükleyen florence86. - Öne çıkan müzik videolarını izleyin.

AUTUMN

2009-09-06T05:19:00.000-07:00

Autumn whispered the melody of existence to my soul

when nature began to breathe slowly,

gave me a kiss of life

while leaves were bidding farewell to the trees,

secreted my innocence among teaming leaves on the ground,

protected me aganist merciless winter

thanks to sun smiling gently behind the clouds,

surrounded me with its all features:

neither as cheerful as summer

nor as gloomy as winter

in the middle of all feelings,

neither as chilling as snow

nor as burning as summer sun,

just as fragile as barren trees

but as strong as winds

NOTHING((:

2009-09-05T07:11:00.000-07:00

hahaaa((: this really made me laugh and also remember that life does not accept plans and to-do lists. All of us decide sth to do and then disappointments. Maybe, the easiest way is to give up plans and only seize the day. WHAT DO U THINK ABOUT IT???

EVANESCENCE MY IMMORTAL

2009-09-04T13:53:00.000-07:00

When i visited Moony’s blog((: i encountered the marvellous song MY IMMORTAL, awhhh this song always makes me cry, i don’t know the reason but it reminds me of some memories which are near to disappear maybe they were buried into my sub-conscious
Yeahhh, the song exactly tells what i wanna say ‘There's just too much that time cannot erase’ maybe time can be healer most of the time but unfortunately there are some kinda things that even the time can not fix

‘I'm so tired of being here suppressed by all my childish fears’

Evanescence - My Immortal
Yükleyen osoartico. - Öne çıkan müzik videolarını izleyin.

ŞEBNEM FERAH HOŞÇAKAL(GOODBYE)

2009-09-03T14:43:00.000-07:00

She is absolutely my healer whenever i am sad,disappointed, etc... when u listen her, i think that u will agree with me and u will be affected by her adorable and sweet voiceand also the song is very impressive

Şebnem Ferah-Hoşçakal
Yükleyen Petite_plumes. - Diğer müzik videolarına göz atın.

Conversations with my mind: PART ONE …. MAYBE THE LAST ONE

2009-09-01T12:45:00.000-07:00

I should apologize to my mind for calling her ‘enemy’, we made a deal in my dream and promised me that she has tried to sweep all my bad memories and fix my pessimistic mood but warned me that i should help her and give up complaints ,CEASEFIRE!!!

Now, it is time to discover my real one, not my copy (i am on the way of finding my real personality, not copy one) i don’t wanna be stranger to myself any longer coz i am near to lose all my goodness and optimism , i felt hopeless, fearful, messed up but i should not continue torturing myself

It is too difficult to talk about myself but i must remember sth good about me to heal myself.First of all, i always wonder that how can people hate and want to take revenge??? I am very sure of myself that i have never and ever born this feeling, i can keep my heart from evil and i have just decided that i don’t wanna understand them who bear hatred towards others coz the more i begin to understand them, the closer i am to that feeling. Of course, i am not proud of myself because of it but i am thankful to my mom(my angel) and my daddy(my hero) that they teach me not to blame others because of my faults and to only remember people’s favours,this is the only way to cut away revenge which haunts us.

This conversation is from my dream, i began to resemble Yağmur(my inspiration visited me two days ago when i was in sleep)

WHAT???

2009-08-30T19:20:00.000-07:00

I entrusted

my priceless moments

to a friend

a long time ago:

Smiles and laughters

But s/he disappointed

and betrayed me

Result:

Broken trust

and promises

SLEEPYHEAD((:

2009-08-30T13:46:00.000-07:00

I KNOW THAT THIS IS TOO CHILDISH BUT GENERALLY I MISS MY CHILDHOOD

HYPOCRISY

2009-08-28T15:33:00.000-07:00

All the faces look at me

but none of them sincere

None of them familiar to me

My soul repeats the same words:

'Only friend is me

U are all by urself

in this hypocritical world

There is no longer a place

away from lies and unfairness

No chance to return ur innocence world

double faces all around u

no longer

true definition of trust

no longer love'

UPSIDE DOWN:(

2009-08-27T06:42:00.000-07:00

Silent screams

Wake me up from peaceful dreams

A dark cloud of fear and doubt follow me

Wherever i go

Trauma

Leaves deep scars

Keeps me moving forward

Moving forward to future

To pleasant days

POLITE TOMATO GIRL((:

2009-08-26T15:50:00.000-07:00

Haha!!! What a big surprise!!! I found this drawing when i searched for sth else. It reminded me of my high-school days coz i made similar drawings when i was in high-school. Every of them has particular features and i presented them to my friends according to their features but i gave up drawing and also i am not talented.

I know this drawing looks childish but i love my POLITE TOMATO GIRL((:

ENEMY MIND

2009-08-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

My enemy

Defeated me

Prisioned me into solitude

My heart not daring to challenge

Forced to live as a slave

I could not blame my heart

But me

that allowed him to ruin me

WHAT HEART LIES INSIDE

2009-08-25T07:47:00.000-07:00

Tired
Broken
Trapped
Fearful
Painful
My heart is,
Wet
Because of tears
It has to conceal,
Pale
For devoting all its colors to sun
To dry up all the tears

ETERNAL BEAUTY

2009-08-23T19:16:00.000-07:00

Sincere look to immortal beauty

Come here to share all my secrets

When diving into u

Cover me all ur calmness

Whisper me all ur sorrows

Sing a song that tells ur love story with sun

Hide my tears among ur waves

Wash my heart with ur tranquility,

Friend of sky; carry me to eternity

And don’t let anyone know where i am

My sister’s delicious macaroni recipe:):)

2009-08-23T16:13:00.000-07:00

Ingredients:

1 package macaroni

1 small chopped onion

3-4 chopped paprikas

3-4 chopped green peppers

1/4 cup tomato paste

2-3 chopped tomatoes

1 can of tuna fish

1 can of sweet corn

1/4 c olive oil

Directions:

Cook macaroni in boiling, salted water until just tender, following package directions; drain.
Put oil in saucepan; respectively add onion, tomato paste, tomatoes, green peppers, paprikas, tuna fish, sweet corn
Add the sauce to macaroni and mix well

GOOD APPETITE

WHAT DO U THINK????

LONELY MAN

2009-08-22T18:21:00.001-07:00

He is lonely with his own crowdedness,
Only his thoughts follow him wherever goes
though not worth to be spoken
Deep down, pretends to be fearless in the face of loneliness,
But it is time to let down his toughness
And dare to say it loud:
He is a lonely heart wandering into dark waters
Where nobody can follow him but his thoughts

CHANGE IN U!

2009-08-22T05:00:00.000-07:00

As always, i am in a conflict with my mind; i am waiting for my mind to create sth new coz i am fed up with my monotonous life, actually i am fed up with my complaints…or EVERYTHING!!!

Do i need change? (CHANGE:WE NEED:)). Anyway,we need the change when we can not help ourselves or we need the change to get rid of the pessimistic atmosphere… Sometimes change is excellent….it is the best thing. There is a fact that everthing gonna change nothing remains the same but can we change anything whenever we want or does the change arrive suddenly???

Sudden changes: we don’t like it, we get fearful about it but we can not stop it from coming. Yeah, sudden changes hurt; anybody who tells u, it doesn’t hurt, doesn’t dare to say the truth. I mean, people think they want the change. Do they really? Inspite of everything, we either adopt to change or we get left behind…

Actually, I should share the truth with u: the more things change, the more they stay the same. They became just a normal part of our life. In some ways, we change: we grow taller, grow older, grow more complicated…but for the most part, we still have the same problems that we did when we were little. No matter how much we get mature, we are crawling forever, we have a child inside that is unchangeable. There comes a point in our life, when we’re officially an adult, old enough to vote, marry and engage in other adult activities; suddenly, people expect you to be responsible like an adult But do we ever really grow up or we really change???

JUST A QUESTION

2009-08-20T15:48:00.000-07:00

WHEN WE SAY SORRY DO WE ALWAYS MEAN IT OR JUST SAY IT?????

THE SUN ON MY HANDS

2009-08-19T16:51:00.000-07:00

Touch the sun,

Don't let him go away

welcome the darkness,

Reach the sun and

catch him

without regarding the heat of him,

Chase the bright side and

prevent urself from endless nights

JUST A SAYING

2009-08-19T11:49:00.001-07:00

'WE CAN NEVER SAY ‘ENOUGH’WE HAVE ALWAYS A LOT OF WISHES WAITING TO BE WISHED'

Knowing is better than wondering....

2009-08-16T12:26:00.000-07:00

I hear some words in my mind like stream of consciousness. When i try to write about them, they disappear and become meaningless. Maybe i am unskillful to express them, maybe some words are much more what i say, maybe words only speak for themselves ,maybe they are the sign of my weakness; so i can not send them back and make them forgettable, maybe my body is slave to my mind; so how can i keep myself from drowning into my thoughts??????

Now, i am thinking about BENJAMIN FRANKLIN’s saying:"Knowing is better than wondering, that waking is better than sleeping, and even the biggest failure, even the worst, beats the hell out of never trying."It makes a lot sense… We have to make our own mistakes, we have to learn from our experiences. Is the worst experience better than having no experience???? But sometimes we wanna put things off because of our fears and we want sweet escapes in our dreams not to face up to the fear of reality, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of pain…All these fears come from the idea that what if i make a mistake, what if i am wrong; However, the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it…

BUT i don’t feel myself strong enough to fight because whatever hard we fight, finally we lose the game, we can only lie to ourselves for so long . We are tired, we are fed up with everything we lost and DENIAL!!!!!!denying it doesn't change the truth. Sooner or later we have to put aside our denial and face the REALITY...

My thoughts are flying hither and thither:S All of them conradict to each other and they are changeable in one minute…Now, my mind says that everyday is an exam for us and pure happiness is impossible, so we are not suppossed to be happy everyday. (Maybe maturity means being away from joy.) We should appreciate our small victories, we should admire our struggles, we should be thankful for the things we know or never know, mostly we should thankful for the courage to stand up and the fact that EVERY CLOUD HAS A SILVER LINING...

JUST A FEELING:S

2009-08-15T13:43:00.001-07:00

Pain is bad

No pain is the best,

But……………….

We can not take pleasure

Without the stomach ache

Pain is inevitable much or less

Our wounds, some of them so deep

So painful

So profound

No way to recover

There is nothing left to do

But wait…..

Pleasure is good

Twice as much is such a fantasy

That suppossed to be lived in a dream...

a quote from grey's anatomy...

2009-08-14T13:34:00.000-07:00

"Time waits for no man. Time heals all wounds. All any of us can wants, is more time. Time to stand up. Time to grow up. Time to let go."

CONFUSED:(

2009-08-14T10:50:00.000-07:00

Thinking about what…THINK… THINK… THINK… This idea is too weird but my mind is much stronger than me. It directs me from outer side. It behaves as if it is not my part. It is my boss. It says what i should drink,eat, think… I wanna sometimes switch off it STOPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it possible? of course nooott but i should be the director not my mind… i am fed up with absurd thoughts or thinking about trivial things. I try to prevent myself from negative thoughts but i am always the loser my mind is the WINNER…WHAT A HARSH COMPETE!!!!!!!!!!!
My mind always tricks me. It firstly promises not to lead me into chaos but then it causes me to become hopeless, insecure, undecided. It never helps me...it never answers my questions...
I FEEL BLUE...
HELP ME MY MIND WE SHOULD BE IN AN AGREEMENT!!!!

TIME TRAVELLER

2009-08-10T13:39:00.000-07:00

I can’t remember that how long ago did i start to think about time travel? but this thought fascinates me a lot and i am not able to refrain myself from thinking about it .Is there anyone claiming that i have experienced time travel? I wanna get acquainted with her/him:). I really wonder that if someone claims to be time traveller, are all his/her experiences hallucinations or all of those true? ( when u read this stuff, i afraid that u start to think that i am a bit crazy :) )And our dreams are also like time travel, they are bound to our subconscious, we can not control them; we find ourselves in different places, occassions with different people...

Is time travel possible? We watch in movies and read in books about it but it is unsolved problem in real life , currently laws of physics can not explain or prove whether time travel is impossible or possible.

Anyway, i daydream about time travel now:):

i am a time traveller

between past and future

between starts and ends

i don’t want to know how long my trip will last

my mind directs me to the past

to my childhood

i see a little girl called little princess

wearing wreath of white daisies

laughing sincerely

i am afraid to touch her

coz she will be infected by my unhappiness

i should be away from her

not to destroy her adorable world

i am in the future now

i can’t see anything any longer

everywhere in darkness

i am moving and moving

to be able to find sb else,

i see a woman sitting there on her own

looking some old photos

missing her happy days

past is so distant

future is so vague

our life is time travel

between birth and death

between imagines and facts…

DOES TIME TRAVEL FASCINATE U?

WHAT IS MATURITY?

2009-08-06T17:40:00.000-07:00

I THINK…………….IT MEANS........

to be able to respect others’thoughts, feelings, lives; that is to say, tryna walk in one’s shoes before judge him/her.

to follow a lifestyle guided by reason rather than emotions, be away from irrational thoughts, be able to protect our inner balance

to prevent ourselves from childish behaviours but to care the child inside us

to look never back, only look forward

to know how to deal with difficulties and not to fall apart, realize that no one has rainbow without rain

to make sensible decisions and take responsibilities

to be confident, flexible, open-minded

to aware what u are capable of doing or not

to be content without waiting for attention

to be determined to do right things in spite of objections

to be able to keep stresses out of ur life

to be hopeful about future, to seek without fear of failure

ARE U MATURE ENOUGH?

ADD UR THOUGHTS TO THE LIST

WHAT DO U THINK ABOUT IT?

WORTH TO LISTEN

2009-08-06T06:39:00.000-07:00

THIS SONG 'LOST WITHOUT YOU BY DELTA GOODREM' IS SPECIAL FOR ME
HOW DO YOU FEEL WHEN U LISTEN?
PLEASE SHARE

MY LOVELY GUMDROPS(JELIBON):)

2009-08-05T17:20:00.000-07:00

BROKEN INSIDE

2009-08-05T06:49:00.000-07:00

I WANNA be there

On this tree

On my own

Only listen twittering birds

Without talking

Sense warmth of the sun on my face

Watch sweethearts hand in hand

Noticed by nobody

Closer the clouds

Share his loneliness

Mature like him

Experience all seasons with him

Away from the crowd of idle onlookers

I WANNA be there

ON MY OWN

AND NEVER DESCEND AGAIN….

WHAT A WEIRD STORY...

2009-08-04T13:58:00.000-07:00

Does BLACK remind u evil purposes, bad luck? Does WHITE always symbolize purity?

Before answer those, please read…

Once there was, once there was not, in the old times, in a stack of hay, a girl lived called WHITE. She was pure like snow, fragile like a leaf in autumn, gorgeous like daisies…

In WHITE’s country, the sun never set ‘cos DARKNESS hadn’t been created yet…

Her country covered with all adorable flowers and lovely colors such as pink, blue, green…It was faultless like heaven, everything in harmony… All people lived in peace and happiness…They never encountered with such emotions as selfishness, jealousy, grudge, ungratefulness, unfaithfulness…UTOPIA…

ONE DAY the sun set suddenly and everything in darkness… what a frightening instance… all colorfulness disappeared…WHITE and people around her could not understand what was happening… they could not explain the emotion that was unfamiliar to them…it was FEAR, unexplainable feeling…

Suddenly unbearable noise was heard … a huge crowd was getting closer to WHITE’S country…they were soldiers of DARKNESS that was far from this country…their general was BLACK…They began to attack them viciously.. attack with black gases…BLACK was so strong and frightening …

People around WHITE were dying one by one… no body can endure this poisonous gas… it was spreading everywhere and destroyed all beauty…everywhere in chaos…they could not fight ‘cos they did not know how to fight…

What is battle? What is black? What is darkness? Where are our peaceful lives Where is the sun that never set? where is where is where isssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss……..

WHITE’s all body was shaking when these questions were in her mind… she was hiding from BLACK… but it was not a solution she should rescue her untouchable country but HOOWWW…..

The sun rose again but anymore there wasn’t adorable flowers and peaceful people… everywhere collapsed…NOW only beauty that remained was WHITE…

WHITE should fight aganist BLACK to survive but neither of them could defeat each other so they had to create a new world called GREY WORLD mixture of black and white…

It is a world of us where today’s people live… our souls have two colors: white and black…we try to keep the balance between them… no body is completely good or bad… we are in GREY WORLD where badness and goodness have to exist together…

GREY WORLD IS A REAL WORLD NOT UTOPIA….

EVERY WOMAN IS A FLOWER...

2009-08-03T15:26:00.000-07:00

i chose the first one..

WHAT DO THEY LOOK LİKE? CHOOSE ONE AND MAKE COMMENTS...

WELCOME TO REAL WORLD...

2009-08-03T10:37:00.000-07:00

i can’t define my feelings… my sadness is becoming bigger and bigger i fear i gonna be mad what is the meaning of failure? i haven't known until this time… any feelings can not be understood without experiencing... yes, i am now experiencing failure with a pain... in spite of all negativeness, should i be hopeful? people say ends never end... is it true? is there any hopeful beginning for me? my heart and my mind are like enemies... they are opposite to each other... my heart repeats insistingly hope hope only hope but my mind says don’t be silly face up with truth u fail, u fail everything... WHICH ONE IS RIGHT?

(i should stand without any help i should not wait for a hand to rescue me i am not a child anymore …)

NOOOO:( i am still a little girl in a big world, i don't want to behave like an adult i wanna listen some lullabies from my father and then fall a peaceful sleep... maybe i can forget my miserable failure...

i wanna be away from all the negativeness, walking through the seaside watching seagulls…

BUT wherever i go, my mind that is bad at forgetting chases me and it flows me into the stream of suffer...

I AM GOING UNDER…

IS EVERYONE FAIR-WEATHER FRIEND???

2009-07-29T18:24:00.000-07:00

Friends… They always have different effects on my all life they have made me sad, disappointed, vulnerable, intolerable… I can use a lot of adj about them, but why do i always give so much importance to friendship although most of the time they make me upset and cause me to feel insecure. It is a question on my mind echoing again and again like nightmarish sounds. They love u when u are happy but u are all by urself when u are in trouble they leave u alone they make u down is that fair is it a friendship?

FAIR-WEATHER FRIENDS; DON’T HOLD OUT MY HAND

Friendship:when u get lost in darkness ,s/he should find a light for u, when u feel hopeless s/he should be there with a huge smile to give a hope, to heal ur pains. Friendship depends on trust, devotion, being on his/her side whenever s/he needs, true love, sharing emotions, keeping secrets… I FOUND THE ANSWER OF MY QUESTION: why do i always give so much importance to friendship? Answer is that we are incomplete without them, anytime we need someone to lean on… No one can be happy without their real friends but u can only understand they are real or not when u are in trouble...

THANKS TO GOD I HAVE REAL FRIENDS THAT KNOW WHAT FRIENDSHIP MEANS:)

Friendship Quotes

Friendship is a single soul dwelling in two bodies.
* Aristotle

Real friendship is shown in times of trouble;
prosperity is full of friends.
* Euripides

Your friend is the man who knows all about you, and still likes you.
* Elbert Hubbard

My father always used to say that when you die, if you've got five real friends, you've had a great life.
* Lee Iaccoca

"You can hardly make a friend in a year, but you can easily offend one in an hour."

-- Chinese Proverb

CHOOSE UR FAVOURITE QUOTE

"Boulevard Of Broken Dreams"

2009-07-28T15:32:00.000-07:00

it is me i walk alone

This is my one of the favourite songs it was named Record of the Year at the Grammy Awards of 2006. i think the organization of sounds and words are marvellous it has a dramatic effect but it also reminds me what a humanbeing is cos we feel lonely among the crowds our life is a lonely road and we should direct it to right turnouts...

I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone

Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk alone

I walk alone
I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone

Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah

I walk alone
I walk a...

I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone.

listen and share ur thoughts i think u will agree with me